You know you’re old when the people they’re interviewing on TV are older than you.<\/p>\n
Oh, I’m not talking about the idiots packed like sardines in Times Square, rather I’m referring to the people Ryan Seacrest is interviewing.\u00c2\u00a0 Like the guy in charge of dropping the ball.<\/p>\n
I mean forty years ago, when I saw a dude like this on TV, I thought how old and MATURE he was.\u00c2\u00a0 Now I’m sitting on the couch watching this young dude, asking myself, they let THIS young pisher lower the ball?\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t we need somebody OLDER!<\/p>\n
And speaking of Ryan Seacrest…<\/p>\n
This is why mainstream media is dying.\u00c2\u00a0 The pricks who run ABC actually believe somebody LIKES this metrosexual.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean what exactly is his talent?\u00c2\u00a0 Simon Cowell is the star of "American Idol", not THIS twit.<\/p>\n
And who in the hell is Marysol Castro?\u00c2\u00a0 I didn’t get the memo on this woman.<\/p>\n
And why do she and Ryan have to wear those 50s style headsets.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean Garth Brooks used a tiny head mic fifteen years ago.\u00c2\u00a0 Does somebody at the network think this adds AUTHENTICITY??<\/p>\n
Don’t give me shit for watching.\u00c2\u00a0 I want to see DICK CLARK!<\/p>\n
That’s America.\u00c2\u00a0 We love a good train wreck.<\/p>\n
Dick, if you’re not well enough to host the show, let it go.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, even Joe DiMaggio retired, never mind Lou Gehrig.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s how fucked up Hollywood is.\u00c2\u00a0 They figure if you’ve had enough plastic surgery, enough Botox, if you LOOK good, then shit, you’re still in your thirties.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m waiting for the surgery that replaces your INSIDES!\u00c2\u00a0 Then I’ll truly believe you can have endless youth.<\/p>\n
And there’s musical talent on this fiasco.\u00c2\u00a0 All trumped up shows, made to look like Live Aid\/Live 8.\u00c2\u00a0 Like anybody truly gives a shit about Keith Urban.\u00c2\u00a0 Like ten years from now he won’t be playing for free at fairs.<\/p>\n
And I liked how the chicks sang along in the audience with Billie Joe of Green Day, still, it didn’t translate on TV.<\/p>\n
And Ryan was playing to the bleachers.\u00c2\u00a0 He KNEW I was waiting to see Dick.\u00c2\u00a0 He put the two coming attractions as Mr. Clark and Mariah Carey.<\/p>\n
Mariah Carey.\u00c2\u00a0 What’s worst about this chick is she actually believes she’s talented, that’s she’s great, that her record isn’t really L..A. Reid’s triumph.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s a nitwit, and now since she’s back, we have to be subjected to her idiotic spiel.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, at least Jessica Simpson is FUNNY!<\/p>\n
But, turns out the intro about selling a hundred million odd records wasn’t for the boob-implanted, gum-chewing hollow vessel, but…NEIL DIAMOND!<\/p>\n
I mean I’m sitting on the couch, almost catatonic, feeling that the generations have really changed, when they bring on someone older than me, who had a hit before I’d had sex, when rock music was my sole turn-on.<\/p>\n
Oh, he’s standing there with his guitar.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, I’ve never seen him live.\u00c2\u00a0 But I’ve read the hype, supposedly Rick Rubin got him to play again.\u00c2\u00a0 And he starts to strum, and it’s unmistakable, he’s playing his best hit ever, CHERRY CHERRY!<\/p>\n
It’s like it’s 1966 all over again.<\/p>\n
Baby loves me Oh, he looks every year his age.\u00c2\u00a0 But he’s still GOT IT!\u00c2\u00a0 That acoustic guitar, it touches my soul.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ve got to jump up off the couch, I’ve got to get up close to the set, I want to JUMP IN!<\/p>\n The keyboard player, he looks like he should be cashing Social Security checks.<\/p>\n And the backup singers…they don’t have svelte figures.<\/p>\n But forty years later, we still remember "Cherry Cherry".\u00c2\u00a0 Everything else on the show I’ve seen so far has the sticking power of three day old gum.<\/p>\n (Meanwhile, couldn’t Duran Duran play a bigger hit?\u00c2\u00a0 And why doesn’t Bon Jovi go back to playing the hits from "Slippery When Wet" again.\u00c2\u00a0 I’d rather hear "Livin’ On A Prayer" or "Wanted Dead Or Alive" than THIS tripe.\u00c2\u00a0 But I’ve lost the groove.\u00c2\u00a0 I can write no more.\u00c2\u00a0 Dick just came on the set.\u00c2\u00a0 It was worse than I thought it would be.\u00c2\u00a0 I thought he’d be immobile.\u00c2\u00a0 I didn’t think his speech would be slurred.\u00c2\u00a0 Is Johnny Carson the only entertainer to know the right time to bow out?)<\/p>\n <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" You know you’re old when the people they’re interviewing on TV are older than you. Oh, I’m not talking about the idiots packed like sardines in Times Square, rather I’m referring to the people Ryan Seacrest is interviewing.\u00c2\u00a0 Like the guy in charge of dropping the ball. I mean forty years ago, when I saw […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-live-shows","category-the-music"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p96vPs-4j","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=267"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Yes, yes she does<\/em><\/p>\n