Am I a rich person or a poor person?<\/p>\n
I’ve been having ongoing pain when I bite.\u00c2\u00a0 But the dentist couldn’t figure out exactly which tooth it was.\u00c2\u00a0 Until it got so bad fifteen months ago that it was clear it was the rear molar and he put a crown on it and voila!, the pain was gone.<\/p>\n
Until June.\u00c2\u00a0 I was in Yosemite and the same pain returned.\u00c2\u00a0 Huh?<\/p>\n
Not going away, and me going away, across the ocean, I made an emergency appointment with the dentist.\u00c2\u00a0 Who was going on a trip himself, to Alaska, for three months, imminently.\u00c2\u00a0 Thank god I caught him.<\/p>\n
It wasn’t clear.\u00c2\u00a0 He gave me the name of the endodontist, or I could tough it out.<\/p>\n
I come from the tough it out school.\u00c2\u00a0 I learned from my mother.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s illegal to be sick.\u00c2\u00a0 But what if you actually are?<\/p>\n
The pain subsided, then returned, but not with a vengeance.\u00c2\u00a0 At my regular cleaning stop, which I delayed until the dentist returned from his trip, I asked him.\u00c2\u00a0 I figured he’d say to continue to wait.\u00c2\u00a0 Alas, he did not.\u00c2\u00a0 He said to see the endodontist, right away.\u00c2\u00a0 The pain had gone on too long.<\/p>\n
So I drove to a low-slung building in downtown Santa Monica where a doctor without a tie probed with what looked like dry ice, it was smoking, and when I jumped at the cold he told me I needed a root canal.<\/p>\n
Welcome to the club, as Joe Walsh would say.<\/p>\n
And today was the day.<\/p>\n
Actually, yesterday was the day.\u00c2\u00a0 But the doctor had to cancel, he had to go to a funeral.\u00c2\u00a0 Today’s appointment was much too early, but I didn’t want to delay, I wanted to get it over with.<\/p>\n
What I hate about shit like this is they think everybody’s an expert, like everybody’s been through it before.\u00c2\u00a0 Ever been stopped for drunk driving?\u00c2\u00a0 They speak in code.\u00c2\u00a0 FST means "Field Sobriety Test".\u00c2\u00a0 But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.\u00c2\u00a0 You might be sober, but locked up anyway, because you couldn’t comprehend the acronyms.<\/p>\n
Bottom line, they build a construction site in your mouth.\u00c2\u00a0 Truly.\u00c2\u00a0 They put up structural reinforcements and then erect a tarp, so the debris doesn’t go down your throat.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m a mouth-breather.\u00c2\u00a0 So, of course, I start to gag.<\/p>\n
This wasn’t surprising to the assembled multitude, happens on a regular basis.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe they needed to call in an anesthesiologist.<\/p>\n
Huh?<\/p>\n
You said I could walk out in ninety minutes as good as new.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe a little numb.\u00c2\u00a0 Now you’re telling me it would be like my colonoscopy, and I’ll be fucked up all day?\u00c2\u00a0 How am I gonna drive home?\u00c2\u00a0 What about that appointment later in the day?<\/p>\n
With me flummoxed, the doctor bridged the silence by saying he’d reconstruct, and leave me a little space to breathe.\u00c2\u00a0 Operational word "little".\u00c2\u00a0 Could I sit for an hour like this?<\/p>\n
Turns out I didn’t have to.<\/p>\n
After poking and drilling for ten minutes, the doctor stopped.\u00c2\u00a0 Houston, we’ve got a problem.<\/p>\n
There’s a severe crack in the tooth.\u00c2\u00a0 He didn’t use the word "severe", but whatever he said it was clear that this was about as bad as it could get.\u00c2\u00a0 He was issuing no guarantees.\u00c2\u00a0 I could buy maybe two to five years at best with a root canal.\u00c2\u00a0 But maybe the root canal wouldn’t fix the problem at all!<\/p>\n
So, being the methodical patient with OCD, I start asking questions. calculating the odds.<\/p>\n
Here’s the story.\u00c2\u00a0 I can risk the root canal, or I can have the tooth pulled, MAYBE THIS AFTERNOON!\u00c2\u00a0 And then an implant installed.<\/p>\n
Not that the implant goes in quite that fast.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s almost a year-long process.\u00c2\u00a0 And it costs $5,000 by time you’re done.<\/p>\n
Do you need that rear molar?\u00c2\u00a0 My regular dentist said many have it pulled and leave the space blank.<\/p>\n
The endodontist said in this neighborhood, people have "discretionary income", and tend to replace it.<\/p>\n
So, who am I?\u00c2\u00a0 Am I the guy with discretionary income or the guy who lives in a rent-controlled house?<\/p>\n
Worse, I’m a guy who’s got to get it right.\u00c2\u00a0 What’s the right decision here?<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, I’m trying to talk through the tarp.\u00c2\u00a0 And the doctor complains it’s starting to rip.<\/p>\n
And I can tell he’s getting frustrated, because I’m messing up his schedule, he’s gonna be behind all day.<\/p>\n
But this isn’t a minor question for me.<\/p>\n
He says it’s not his fault.\u00c2\u00a0 That he couldn’t see the crack until he removed the crown.<\/p>\n
I can think about it while he does a bit more drilling.<\/p>\n
And I’m sitting there thinking.\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t want to be stupid.\u00c2\u00a0 But the doctor says personally, he’d try and save the tooth, but then he says his view is skewed, because he’s an endodontist.<\/p>\n
Well…<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, he keeps drilling.\u00c2\u00a0 How much is THIS gonna cost me?\u00c2\u00a0 To abort the procedure?<\/p>\n
Then I think of my father.\u00c2\u00a0 A self-made man who knew where every dollar was.\u00c2\u00a0 He’d skimp here, and save there, but when it counted, he’d lay down his money, it was important to get it right.\u00c2\u00a0 I decided on the root canal.<\/p>\n
But I didn’t tell the doctor this.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, I couldn’t speak.\u00c2\u00a0 But when he removed the tarp one more time, I asked him one more question.\u00c2\u00a0 If we stopped now, how much was I in for?<\/p>\n
Four hundred bucks.<\/p>\n
Four hundred versus $1550 for the finished procedure.\u00c2\u00a0 Basically, I’m making a thousand dollar bet.<\/p>\n
LET’S GO!<\/p>\n
Not so fast buddy.\u00c2\u00a0 Now the guy tells me he’s not sure he can do it today.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m gonna have to come back one more time.\u00c2\u00a0 He blames it on me not keeping my mouth open wide enough, but I know it’s a timing issue.<\/p>\n
Fuck, DO YOU THINK I’M GONNA COME BACK?<\/p>\n
And he’s discouraged.\u00c2\u00a0 But I tell him to just tell me what he wants, and I’ll give him what he needs.<\/p>\n
So I’ve got my mouth open so wide and it hurts so much that I know I can never be a girl, because there’s no way I could give head. And I’m hoping and praying we can finish today.\u00c2\u00a0 But I’m also worried he’s gonna rush and fuck it up.\u00c2\u00a0 Although he said he needed to do a professional job, he needed to get it right.<\/p>\n
And it doesn’t hurt as much as the rep.\u00c2\u00a0 He loaded me up with novocaine.\u00c2\u00a0 Still, I’m clutching my knees to my chest, but I will not complain, because I don’t want to come back.<\/p>\n
Then the doctor kicks back and says we’re making "good progress".<\/p>\n
Ultimately, he told me I was "wonderful".<\/p>\n
Great, where’s my check?<\/p>\n
So we finish up.\u00c2\u00a0 After x-rays and a discussion about world music with the hygienist, I lay down my credit card and walk out feeling…defeated.<\/p>\n
I thought I’d emerge triumphant.\u00c2\u00a0 But did I make the right decision?<\/p>\n
At least I made A decision.\u00c2\u00a0 Which can be quite difficult for me.<\/p>\n
But if you don’t live in Santa Monica, if, like me, you don’t have dental insurance, are you really gonna have an implant or are you just going to go for extraction?<\/p>\n
Is health care a right or a privilege, based on your bank account.<\/p>\n
You need a heart transplant, do you need a dental implant?<\/p>\n
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