Guitarist Satriani joins Hagar for Chickenfoot fun<\/a><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\nI knew Joel before the Internet exploded, I loved his book about the Summer of Love, he added me to his e-mail distribution list years ago, I check out what he has to say, because I know the man.\u00c2\u00a0 And today’s article tells me about a supergroup, a new Sammy Hagar concoction.\u00c2\u00a0 But what truly intrigues me is the inclusion of the Chili Peppers’ drummer, Chad Smith, and…Joe Satriani?<\/p>\n
Has Joe ever gotten drunk in his life?\u00c2\u00a0 Isn’t this the guy who taught guitar in the Valley?\u00c2\u00a0 Isn’t this like putting Taylor Swift together with Keith Richards?\u00c2\u00a0 But what got me clicking was the statement that one of the band’s tracks was already a hit in Canada.\u00c2\u00a0 OH YEAH?<\/p>\n
That’s the name of the cut.\u00c2\u00a0 I figure you can hear it somewhere online.\u00c2\u00a0 So I fire up MySpace.<\/p>\n
What comes out of the speakers is more than serviceable.\u00c2\u00a0 If it were fifteen years ago and MTV still played music, was still the arbiter of public taste, this act would break through. Impressed, but not wanting to burden you with this cut that will make non-believers say SO WHAT, I decide to tweet about it.\u00c2\u00a0 But as I’m composing my 140 character missive the MySpace player slides into the next cut, "Down The Drain".<\/p>\n
There’s an ethereal guitar figure, that only a maestro could concoct and execute, and then a thundering bass, played by the replaced by Wolfie on the Van Halen cleanup tour Michael Anthony, and pounding drums.<\/p>\n
This is headbanging music.\u00c2\u00a0 The kind Beavis & Butt-head loved.\u00c2\u00a0 The kind that was replaced by the beat-driven, dance drivel that came to dominate the popular airwaves. Instead of buying a Strat and Marshall and turning it up to 11, youngsters focused on hair and makeup and making deals with beat doctors.\u00c2\u00a0 The focus left rock and went to spectacle.<\/p>\n
That’s what a Britney Spears show is, that’s what’s got Live Nation in such a pickle.\u00c2\u00a0 After you’ve paid to see the two-headed dwarf once, ARE YOU GOING TO GO AGAIN?<\/p>\n
The sets keep getting more expensive.\u00c2\u00a0 Gossip sites reveal the dancing divas don’t even sing.\u00c2\u00a0 You overpay for a moment in time, which you’re ashamed you dropped your dollars on mere moments later.<\/p>\n
The rock show was something different.\u00c2\u00a0 There were no special outfits, no elaborate sets.\u00c2\u00a0 The driving sound was enough.\u00c2\u00a0 It went straight up the little girls’ vaginas, had them screaming in ecstasy as the boys pumped their fists in the air, enthralled.<\/p>\n
But it all depends on a virtuoso guitarist.\u00c2\u00a0 Ozzy needed Randy Rhoads.\u00c2\u00a0 Still needs Zakk Wylde.\u00c2\u00a0 David Lee Roth needs Eddie Van Halen.\u00c2\u00a0 And even though Sammy Hagar can pick a few notes himself, he needs somebody world class.\u00c2\u00a0 And now he’s found him.\u00c2\u00a0 And stunningly, he’s JOE SATRIANI?<\/p>\n
"Down The Drain" is six minutes long.\u00c2\u00a0 Plods in the beginning, like a Neanderthal trampling the landscape, but rings of the modern era, because of Satriani’s guitar flourishes and Sammy’s screams.\u00c2\u00a0 The riff bludgeons, your head starts to bob, you can’t turn it off, you want to see where it goes.<\/p>\n
And it’s not done too soon.\u00c2\u00a0 This track is not condensed to fit a radio format, it stretches out, so you can grin and slap the dashboard as you drive, so you can raise your beer and toast life with your buddies.<\/p>\n
There’s something here.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not about the marketing plan, it’s about the music.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s an audience for this music.\u00c2\u00a0 The rock acts always pull an audience.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m spreading the word because if you like this kind of music, you’ll be satisfied.\u00c2\u00a0 If you don’t, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!<\/p>\n
That’s today’s mantra.\u00c2\u00a0 If you don’t like my music, FUCK OFF!\u00c2\u00a0 Go to the Hold Steady show, listen to TV On The Radio, which is not bad, but too intellectual.\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes we need something that speaks to our nuts!\u00c2\u00a0 You can talk to a girl all night, but that’s not going to bring you to orgasm.\u00c2\u00a0 At some point you’ve got to take off your pants, she’s got to stroke your dick, you’ve got to go inside.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s music like this that makes you hard.\u00c2\u00a0 Allows you to fantasize and become erect!<\/p>\n
Stay through until the end, where the whole number breaks down and it sounds like Sammy’s just done the deed, like he’s rolled off and is in ECSTASY!<\/p>\n
Yes, the greatest rock and roll music exudes sex.\u00c2\u00a0 And by that criterion, "Down The Drain" is a ravishing success.<\/p>\n
This is the music that sells concert tickets.\u00c2\u00a0 This is the gig you want to go to, to be amongst the teeming masses, rubbing up against those who are no longer self-conscious, but freed and transported by the tunes.<\/p>\n
I don’t give a shit who wins the Coldplay lawsuit.\u00c2\u00a0 All I know is I’d rather see Chickenfoot!\u00c2\u00a0 That’s a real rock show, not one peopled by frightened college students driven by Apple ads.\u00c2\u00a0 Chickenfoot’s music is enough to sell the act.\u00c2\u00a0 Marketing efforts are superfluous.\u00c2\u00a0 Because if you like this kind of music, and you’d be surprised how many truly do, you can’t stop playing it, and you have to tell everybody about it.\u00c2\u00a0 And go to the show.<\/p>\n
We’re still waiting for new Van Halen tunes.\u00c2\u00a0 Hopefully they’ll be better than this Chickenfoot stuff.\u00c2\u00a0 Eddie’s a savant and Dave’s so bright he can concoct fascinating lyrics.\u00c2\u00a0 But they’re so busy cleaning up on the reunion circuit, so afraid of taking risks, that there’s nothing available.\u00c2\u00a0 In the interim, check this out!<\/p>\n
\nChickenfoot MySpace<\/a>
(Turn off the video featuring Michael Anthony’s face and click on cut 2!)<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/p>\n
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I don’t know what’s happening with that Coldplay lawsuit, especially now that Cat Stevens has weighed in, but I’ve always thought Joe Satriani has had better chops than material.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s the plight of too many of these eighties guitar superstars, they had technique, they spent 10,000 hours practicing in their bedrooms, they just neglected to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1934","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music-business"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p96vPs-vc","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1934","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1934"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1934\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1936,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1934\/revisions\/1936"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1934"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1934"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1934"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}