How do you tell someone they’re history?<\/p>\n
That’s what they’re discussing on Sirius’ Playboy Channel as I sit here.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re playacting.\u00c2\u00a0 Whoever gives the best breakup wins a DVD.<\/p>\n
Not much of a gift, but when it comes to sex, you don’t have to give away much to get people to play.<\/p>\n
Actually, sex was earlier in the day.\u00c2\u00a0 They were discussing younger men dating older women.\u00c2\u00a0 A guy called in to say he was thirty five and he’d just made it with a sixty four year old!\u00c2\u00a0 She’d done her Kegels, she performed oral, he was going to hit it again.<\/p>\n
And then the host started saying her mother was the same age.\u00c2\u00a0 And spoke about the aging process, the loss of hair.\u00c2\u00a0 I couldn’t change the channel, I was learning something.<\/p>\n
And when I got back in the car, the Breakup Game had begun.<\/p>\n
But there were rules.\u00c2\u00a0 You couldn’t use certain terms in rupturing the relationship.\u00c2\u00a0 Not the classic "It’s not you, it’s me", not "I need a break", you had to be honest.\u00c2\u00a0 How many people are honest?<\/p>\n
It was fascinating.\u00c2\u00a0 To listen to the women be blindsided.\u00c2\u00a0 Hearing the men fumble, being unable to be direct.\u00c2\u00a0 No one wants to hear they’re gone, but what’s worse is believing you’ve still got a shot.<\/p>\n
Everybody knows you no longer have a shot.\u00c2\u00a0 Not only your ex, but his friends, your friends, your parents…\u00c2\u00a0 But so many of them are not honest either.\u00c2\u00a0 They try to cover up by telling you what an asshole your ex was.\u00c2\u00a0 If that doesn’t work, they listen to you tell them how you’re going to change.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s like group therapy, how can you rebuild your personality to regain the affection of someone who no longer wants you.<\/p>\n
Maybe they’re incapable of wanting you.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe they can’t sustain a relationship.\u00c2\u00a0 But you don’t want to believe all this, you want to win them back!<\/p>\n
You go to the gym, you buy new clothes, you change your look, you just wait for that phone call or e-mail giving you another shot.<\/p>\n
And when that doesn’t come, you can’t hold back.\u00c2\u00a0 You make contact.\u00c2\u00a0 And if there’s any response at all, you replay it in your head ad infinitum, looking for hidden meanings that aren’t there.\u00c2\u00a0 They definitely want to get back together, right?<\/p>\n
Wrong.<\/p>\n
And then sometimes they do.\u00c2\u00a0 And then they break up with you all over again.<\/p>\n
Why can’t they just tell you they’re done.\u00c2\u00a0 And then go their merry way.\u00c2\u00a0 Why do they have to come back for sex, needing that hit even though they have no intention of staying. Why do they still call you during personal crises, then lose your number once again.\u00c2\u00a0 Worse, why do they never call at all?<\/p>\n
You shared your life.\u00c2\u00a0 You thought this was the one.\u00c2\u00a0 You can’t conceive of being alone this far down the line.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re going to will them back.\u00c2\u00a0 In this same damn conversation they’re breaking up with you in.<\/p>\n
Or they’re truly weasels and send an e-mail.\u00c2\u00a0 Or a text.<\/p>\n
Who’d want to be involved with someone of such weak character to begin with?<\/p>\n
You.\u00c2\u00a0 You can’t afford this blow to your self-esteem.\u00c2\u00a0 So that’s why you’re gonna crawl your way back, earn your way back.<\/p>\n
But it can’t be done.<\/p>\n
Why can’t they make it easy and tell you the truth in the beginning?<\/p>\n
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How do you tell someone they’re history? That’s what they’re discussing on Sirius’ Playboy Channel as I sit here.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re playacting.\u00c2\u00a0 Whoever gives the best breakup wins a DVD. Not much of a gift, but when it comes to sex, you don’t have to give away much to get people to play. Actually, sex was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p96vPs-ns","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1454"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1454\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1456,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1454\/revisions\/1456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}