I’m not calling it the Gibson.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, I can barely get used to the building having a roof.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s how far we’ve come.\u00c2\u00a0 From a magical summer series to an institutional building studded with corporate crepe featuring acts that can’t sell out even though they’ve got the number one single of the summer.<\/p>\n
Used to be acts played for a week at Universal and you couldn’t get a ticket!\u00c2\u00a0 Back when rock ruled the world, when you listened to music if you wanted to know which way the wind blew, when all the excitement didn’t live online.<\/p>\n
Used to be you had to leave your house, for the action, to feel part of the world.\u00c2\u00a0 Now you’re better off staying at home.\u00c2\u00a0 With your computer screen as your window to the world.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s a pulse online that is absent the sold out environs of today’s entertainment venues.\u00c2\u00a0 Starting with the name.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, I’m going to auction off rights to my house.\u00c2\u00a0 Buick Presents The Bob Lefsetz Abode!\u00c2\u00a0 They probably figure I’m part of their demo, that if I endorse their piece of shit cars ignorant brethren of mine will actually but one.\u00c2\u00a0 But, I think Buicks are bogus.\u00c2\u00a0 But we live in an era where you take the dough.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re a fool if you don’t take the dough.\u00c2\u00a0 I can understand nonprofits naming buildings for their donors…\u00c2\u00a0 Then again, I liked it better when it was still Philharmonic Hall, before it became Avery Fisher.<\/p>\n
I bring all this up because to be a citizen in today’s America is to feel powerless.\u00c2\u00a0 Against not only the government, but the corporations who control the lawmakers.\u00c2\u00a0 What’s good for Wall Street may not be good for the country, but it makes the traders fucking RICH!\u00c2\u00a0 And you want to be rich too, don’t you?\u00c2\u00a0 So don’t hassle them.\u00c2\u00a0 Otherwise you’re going to lose a chance you never had anyway.<\/p>\n
So you can imagine how eager I was to drive to Universal City for this show.\u00c2\u00a0 I loved "Devil Without A Cause".\u00c2\u00a0 But that was ten years ago. When a number one album, driven by MTV airplay and incessant radio that people actually listened to, sold in excess of ten million copies. But now, you can’t garner that much attention.\u00c2\u00a0 Ever.\u00c2\u00a0 Unless you shoot somebody.\u00c2\u00a0 And then people only pay attention for a minute.\u00c2\u00a0 You can argue all day long whether keeping "Rock N Roll Jesus" off iTunes drove sales, but you’ve still got to look at the paltry total.\u00c2\u00a0 The album JUST WENT DOUBLE PLATINUM!\u00c2\u00a0 After almost A YEAR!\u00c2\u00a0 Single of the summer, and the impact is less than Herman’s Hermits’ "Henry The VIII".\u00c2\u00a0 Not that "All Summer Long" isn’t good.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s just that you can’t get everybody to pay attention.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, I didn’t even play the damn album. Not because I had a vendetta against Mr. Ritchie, but because shortly after it arrived the fourth quarter deluge began, I was busy listening to country radio, downloading classics…where’s the time?\u00c2\u00a0 But, I was entranced by Bob’s belief in the album.\u00c2\u00a0 He implored me to LISTEN TO IT!\u00c2\u00a0 But I still didn’t.\u00c2\u00a0 And the only reason I went to this show was because Celine insisted.<\/p>\n
She records my podcasts at Rhino.\u00c2\u00a0 She e-mailed me.\u00c2\u00a0 Would I go with her?<\/p>\n
Sure.\u00c2\u00a0 If I was in town.<\/p>\n
Which I turned out to be.<\/p>\n
And I left it in her hands.\u00c2\u00a0 And when she e-mailed me to meet her at the venue, to drive my own car, I passed.\u00c2\u00a0 Melissa and Bob Shea are gone.\u00c2\u00a0 Who was I going to e-mail at this late date for backstage parking?\u00c2\u00a0 And was that where the tickets were?<\/p>\n
They weren’t.<\/p>\n
But I’m getting ahead of myself.<\/p>\n
Celine said she was meeting friends.\u00c2\u00a0 They didn’t need me.\u00c2\u00a0 I was out.<\/p>\n
But Celine protested.\u00c2\u00a0 O.K., I’ll meet you at your house and we’ll drive together.\u00c2\u00a0 And park with the hoi polloi.\u00c2\u00a0 And journey around the bend, through CityWalk.<\/p>\n
And what a bogus construct that is.\u00c2\u00a0 Something out of Toon Town.\u00c2\u00a0 But, good for shits and giggles as they say.<\/p>\n
But when we got to the kiosk and retrieved our tickets, they were for the pit.\u00c2\u00a0 I didn’t want to stand that close, with that many sweaty bodies. And Celine wasn’t eager either.\u00c2\u00a0 She jumped on her iPhone and started texting people.<\/p>\n
And I started people-watching.<\/p>\n
Conventional wisdom is Southern California is Hollywood.\u00c2\u00a0 Suntanned bodies, enhanced by plastic surgery and toned in a million workouts.\u00c2\u00a0 But this wasn’t that crowd.\u00c2\u00a0 This group came from the EAST!\u00c2\u00a0 Like RIVERSIDE!\u00c2\u00a0 They looked no different from those in Detroit. Imperfect bodies.\u00c2\u00a0 Which they were not ashamed of.<\/p>\n
Forty five year old women are striding by me with their tits hanging out.\u00c2\u00a0 As if they were still eighteen and looking to get lucky at the show. Everybody was still young on the inside.\u00c2\u00a0 This was better than any movie, anything I’ve experienced online.\u00c2\u00a0 This was imperfect human flesh.\u00c2\u00a0 Out for a night on the town.<\/p>\n
And when we finally got our ducat situation worked out, we strode over the bridge to the venue.<\/p>\n
Where I was confronted by Verizon.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what I think of when I go to a show…MY CELL PHONE PROVIDER!\u00c2\u00a0 I’m a big believer in Verizon, I can drive across town and not lose my connection, but seeing them here was like encountering your home ec teacher at McDonald’s.\u00c2\u00a0 This whole evening was just an excuse for a corporation to make money.\u00c2\u00a0 We were pawns in their game.\u00c2\u00a0 Compacted like sardines in this tiny area.<\/p>\n
Celine wanted some alcohol so we got in an interminable line.\u00c2\u00a0 Which we ultimately abandoned.\u00c2\u00a0 But not before the fiftysomething smoking a cigar put his arms around one of the skankiest women I’ve ever seen.\u00c2\u00a0 This was not the beautiful people.\u00c2\u00a0 This was just regular people. Out for a night on the town.\u00c2\u00a0 Sure, they’d paid the TicketMaster fee, but the $61 ticket price, to sit down close, that was reasonable…\u00c2\u00a0 They wanted to be entertained.<\/p>\n
And after connecting with Mark Pinkus and his wife, bullshitting in the lobby, we heard a sound…\u00c2\u00a0 The show was beginning!\u00c2\u00a0 I NEVER MISS THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW!<\/p>\n
We ran to the doors, and strutting like Rod Stewart from stage left was…Mr. Ritchie himself.\u00c2\u00a0 In this ridiculous white outfit.\u00c2\u00a0 And when he hit the center of the stage, HE EXPLODED!\u00c2\u00a0 Telling us all how he was a rock and roll JESUS!<\/p>\n
I wasn’t familiar with the tune.\u00c2\u00a0 It should have washed off my back.\u00c2\u00a0 But it was like I’d entered a club in Detroit, where a full tilt boogie band had something to prove.\u00c2\u00a0 Was CLOSING ME!\u00c2\u00a0 It was like the Blues Brothers, but with a professional frontman.<\/p>\n
And by time we were in our seats, the band had transferred to this…GOSPEL NUMBER?\u00c2\u00a0 An acoustic guitar is strumming, and Bob is imploring us to say amen.<\/p>\n
AMEN!<\/p>\n
You know how you move involuntarily, how you just can’t help it because the music has penetrated and inspired you?\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what it was like.\u00c2\u00a0 I was along for the ride!\u00c2\u00a0 I hadn’t made an intellectual decision.\u00c2\u00a0 It was like I was standing on a pier at the lake and my buddy in the water said JUMP IN!\u00c2\u00a0 AND I DID!<\/p>\n
And speaking of the lake, Bob didn’t save "All Summer Long" until the end.\u00c2\u00a0 It was closer to the beginning.\u00c2\u00a0 He didn’t believe he needed to employ it as his big closer, as his encore.\u00c2\u00a0 Actually, he didn’t do an encore.\u00c2\u00a0 What do you do after you’ve given your all and raised the roof? ISN’T THAT ENOUGH?<\/p>\n
I’m smiling, I’m laughing.\u00c2\u00a0 Bob brings the audience down.\u00c2\u00a0 And starts commiserating, telling us he knows it’s been rough out there, but not to worry, tonight he’s going to do ALL THE WORK!\u00c2\u00a0 And he’s jumping around in a way that you figure he’ll be seeing a chiropractor for the rest of his life.\u00c2\u00a0 And his ten piece band is COOKING!\u00c2\u00a0 Who takes a ten piece band on the road?\u00c2\u00a0 He can’t be making any money.\u00c2\u00a0 But it’s not about money.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s about the experience.<\/p>\n
And he tells us he knows we’re all from different walks of life.\u00c2\u00a0 So, he implores us to turn around and introduce ourselves to our neighbors, to shake hands.\u00c2\u00a0 Which, upon his command, we all do.\u00c2\u00a0 Everybody’s smiling, everybody’s happy, I’m now not alone, but part of the PARTY! If I could have sent you a missive from my BlackBerry, I would have done so RIGHT THEN!\u00c2\u00a0 You know when you’ve been reached, when you’re hovering ten feet above the Earth, when all your problems fade away?\u00c2\u00a0 That’s how I felt.\u00c2\u00a0 Only music can get you there.<\/p>\n
Reverend Run came out to perform his classics.\u00c2\u00a0 I had no idea he was such a crowd manipulator.\u00c2\u00a0 He had the audience in his hand.\u00c2\u00a0 And when they ripped into "Walk This Way" we were all brought back to the eighties, when we were addicted to MTV, when we felt part of a unified culture.<\/p>\n
And Rock did a medley with his drummer on "Half Your Age".\u00c2\u00a0 But what cracked me up completely was "So Hott".\u00c2\u00a0 Because when he hit the key line, EVERY WOMAN IN THE PLACE LOOKED UP TO THE SKY AND SANG ALONG!<\/p>\n
The classy women behind me.\u00c2\u00a0 The coiffed girl in the cocktail dress blown up big on the video screen…\u00c2\u00a0 They all screamed:<\/p>\n
I WANT TO FUCK YOU LIKE I’M NEVER GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN!<\/span><\/p>\n Supposedly men are the aggressors, the predators.\u00c2\u00a0 But the females in the audience were identifying with this concept.\u00c2\u00a0 And the audience was half women, if not more.\u00c2\u00a0 They wanted to let go, they wanted to sweat, they wanted the music to liberate them, give them the power to make the world their own.<\/p>\n And yes, Rock did his routine where he plays every instrument, which at this point in time is superfluous.\u00c2\u00a0 But he also played a magical number entitled "Lowlife (Living The Highlife)".<\/p>\n I got my ‘Cat Scratch Fever’ eight-track<\/span> Kid Rock is playing a role.\u00c2\u00a0 Of the out of control, politically incorrect hillbilly.\u00c2\u00a0 But, in real life, Kid Rock is smarter than the average bear. Maybe because his father was a Lincoln dealer, because he didn’t grow up in abject poverty, it’s not solely about the money.\u00c2\u00a0 His goal is to make it, stay there, and ENTERTAIN!\u00c2\u00a0 To be a rock star!<\/p>\n You remember rock stars, don’t you?\u00c2\u00a0 These were people who were so successful, so fucking rich that they could drink Dom and snort coke every night.\u00c2\u00a0 Could fuck any woman they wanted.\u00c2\u00a0 And gave the middle finger to the man.<\/p>\n That’s what we all want to do…\u00c2\u00a0 Give the one fingered salute to those picking on us, abusing us, thinking they control us.<\/p>\n You’re never going to make as much money as the hedge funder.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re never going to be President.\u00c2\u00a0 But you can still pick up a guitar and try to make it as a musician.\u00c2\u00a0 And, if you do, you’re truly king of the world, living the highlife.\u00c2\u00a0 But can you continue to say no?\u00c2\u00a0 Can you do what’s politically incorrect?<\/p>\n It didn’t feel like Rock was bringing his act to Southern California but that he was bringing the assembled multitude to Detroit.\u00c2\u00a0 Where artifice didn’t matter, who you were was what was on the inside.\u00c2\u00a0 Where you wanted to go to the club and let loose.\u00c2\u00a0 To a band driven by a Les Paul, that remembers "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Werewolves Of London", that makes them their own.<\/p>\n I find it hard to stay enraptured for the entire set.\u00c2\u00a0 I want to leave a few numbers in.\u00c2\u00a0 Because the band just can’t sustain it.\u00c2\u00a0 But Thursday night in Universal City, Bob Ritchie BROUGHT IT!\u00c2\u00a0 In the same way Bob Seger always has, in the same way Bruce Springsteen does. Maybe Kid Rock’s a bit more blue collar in attitude than the Boss, but he too believes music can set you free.\u00c2\u00a0 And he gives it his all, carrying you on his back to the promised land.<\/p>\n <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’m not calling it the Gibson.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, I can barely get used to the building having a roof.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s how far we’ve come.\u00c2\u00a0 From a magical summer series to an institutional building studded with corporate crepe featuring acts that can’t sell out even though they’ve got the number one single of the summer. Used to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-live-shows"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p96vPs-m9","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1373"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
My best friend’s in a gun rack<\/span>
I’m a lowlife<\/span>
I owe everybody money<\/span>
I think racist jokes are funny<\/span>
I’m a lowlife<\/span>
I got a dirty mind, a gutter mouth<\/span>
I’m makin’ time, I’m goin’ out<\/span>
With your wife<\/span>
Cuz I’m a lowlife<\/span>
I’m a lowlife<\/span><\/p>\n