I believe in honesty.<\/p>\n
In a sea of complete bullshit, people telling tales to get ahead, I feel
alone.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m looking for someone who will tell me their truth.<\/p>\n
I used to find this truth in records.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re the ones I love the most.\u00c2\u00a0
Joni Mitchell’s "Blue".\u00c2\u00a0 And Jackson Browne’s "Late For The Sky".\u00c2\u00a0 They’re
directly from their heart to mine.<\/p>\n
Kelly Clarkson does a good job on "Since U Been Gone", but not for a minute
do I think it comes directly from her heart.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s singing a song, she’s
performing, it’s all part of the sausage factory, spewing money at the end.\u00c2\u00a0 I
can’t relate to the guy who wrote the song, her or the people who purveyed it.\u00c2\u00a0
They searched forever for the right vehicle.\u00c2\u00a0 One that would push her one step
forward in the musical hemisphere, insure she’s a star.\u00c2\u00a0 And that just doesn’t
resonate with me.<\/p>\n
Falling in love is strange.\u00c2\u00a0 You see someone from afar, your hormones start
to rage.\u00c2\u00a0 Then you talk to them and find they don’t fit your mental paradigm,
you’ve created a mental fantasy of your connection, but it takes two…and she
doesn’t fit the construct.<\/p>\n
The people who fit the construct…\u00c2\u00a0 Most times they sneak up on you.\u00c2\u00a0 It
isn’t how they look, but the way they lock eyes when they tell their story.\u00c2\u00a0
Reveal their hurt, their questions, along with their victories.<\/p>\n
All these elements used to be in records.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re absent today.\u00c2\u00a0 And that’s
why I don’t believe.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, you don’t have to believe to consume, just ask the
movie business.\u00c2\u00a0 People are buying the confections.\u00c2\u00a0 But the essence, the
essence is gone.<\/p>\n
It’s not only white music.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s hip-hop too.\u00c2\u00a0 The days of Ice-T singing
about the street, about cops killing citizens, have been replaced by ditties about
the candy shop.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s a lot of swagger, a ton of image, but no resonance.\u00c2\u00a0
And when you resonate, you know.\u00c2\u00a0 Your insides get warm.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s like falling
in love.<\/p>\n
I got e-mail from this lawyer I know.\u00c2\u00a0 Barely.\u00c2\u00a0 It was the longest e-mail
I’ve ever gotten in my life.\u00c2\u00a0 He said it took him hours to write, and it read
like it.\u00c2\u00a0 It was the story of this guy who was the lead singer of Something
Corporate.\u00c2\u00a0 How he had cut a solo album.\u00c2\u00a0 And then had gotten cancer.<\/p>\n
Oh, there were sidesteps into vision.\u00c2\u00a0 And Websites.\u00c2\u00a0 But what resonated with
me was my conversation with teenage Emily last summer.\u00c2\u00a0 In California scoping
colleges she asked me if I liked Something Corporate.\u00c2\u00a0 It stuck with me.\u00c2\u00a0
Enough to go to this guy’s MySpace site.\u00c2\u00a0 Where I played "The Mixed Tape".\u00c2\u00a0 And
from the very first note, I heard honesty.\u00c2\u00a0 This guitar intro wasn’t perfect,
not instantly memorable, it wasn’t premeditated to instantly penetrate your
brain.\u00c2\u00a0 Then, the guy singing, no one told him to do it this way.\u00c2\u00a0 It came
straight from his heart.<\/p>\n
It was emo.\u00c2\u00a0 All energy.\u00c2\u00a0 The type of sound we tend to dismiss.\u00c2\u00a0 The same way
people used to dismiss the Cure.\u00c2\u00a0 Saying it was music for mopes.\u00c2\u00a0 But, I’ve
got to tell you, there are more mopes than upbeat winners in our society.\u00c2\u00a0 And
even the biggest winners have down moments.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that they can tell anybody.\u00c2\u00a0
It might hurt their image.\u00c2\u00a0 But the listeners, the peons, the consumers, those
not famous, they’re not so worried about their image, they need the
CONNECTION!\u00c2\u00a0 They’re so lonely, they want to reveal their truth.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re drawn to
anybody as honest as they are.<\/p>\n
I’ve never made a mix tape.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe I felt they wouldn’t listen.\u00c2\u00a0 That they’d
brush it off.\u00c2\u00a0 Or wouldn’t understand the amount of effort I put into it.\u00c2\u00a0 Or
maybe it’s just that connecting with other human beings is not my forte.\u00c2\u00a0
They’re subtle, they’re moody, they get distracted.\u00c2\u00a0 Unlike records.\u00c2\u00a0 Which are
static, frozen in time.<\/p>\n
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to send somebody a mix tape.\u00c2\u00a0 Not someone
I’m involved with, but someone I desire.\u00c2\u00a0 If only she knew who I really was,
who I was on the inside, maybe she’d give me a chance.\u00c2\u00a0 But if I open my heart
so early, I’m fearful of being rejected.<\/p>\n
And getting past this fear of rejection, making a connection, based on
honesty, I don’t want to let it go.\u00c2\u00a0 It was so hard to achieve.\u00c2\u00a0 The connection with
another human being is the ultimate life experience.\u00c2\u00a0 They say on TV it’s
about being rich, but that’s untrue.\u00c2\u00a0 Sure, riches will draw the opposite sex,
but what exactly is their attraction.<\/p>\n
But so far, I’ve never had a relationship that lasted forever.<\/p>\n
And I’d like to tell you I’ve forgotten them all, that I can laugh when I
hear their name.\u00c2\u00a0 But that would be untrue.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m haunted by their memory.\u00c2\u00a0 We
shared something.\u00c2\u00a0 Our stories.\u00c2\u00a0 We knew each other.\u00c2\u00a0 Not our image, not the
patina, but the substance.\u00c2\u00a0 The hole…it’s still there.<\/p>\n
Oh, it fades.\u00c2\u00a0 But it comes back.\u00c2\u00a0 When you think you see them.\u00c2\u00a0 When you
pass a car they used to drive.\u00c2\u00a0 Out of the blue sometimes.\u00c2\u00a0 And at these moments,
the only thing that soothes is music.\u00c2\u00a0 But what’s best is music that depicts
where you are right at that very moment.<\/p>\n
Where are you now Andrew McMahon is not speaking of the girlfriend who walked out the door the And you can hear it.<\/p>\n And even if you dislike emo vocals, the rushed shout, the musical elements Then again, they never do.<\/p>\n I heard "The Mixed Tape" and got it immediately.<\/p>\n The lawyer told me he wasn’t sending a CD.\u00c2\u00a0 If I was truly interested, I I fired up Rhapsody.\u00c2\u00a0 Track after track was palatable.\u00c2\u00a0 This is not the way Every review on Amazon, all 39, gave the album five stars.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ve never seen I had to possess the tracks.\u00c2\u00a0 I fired up my P2P app and took the songs.<\/p>\n I can’t say I’ve digested the whole album, I haven’t even listened to the
As I’m swimming through the stereo
I’m writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now
I’ve rearranged the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of
It’s you I’m thinking of<\/em><\/p>\n
night before, rather they broke up years ago.\u00c2\u00a0 But he hasn’t quite gotten over
it.<\/p>\n
get to you.\u00c2\u00a0 The piano’s like the music behind a montage, your whole life
together flashing before your eyes.\u00c2\u00a0 What do you do now?\u00c2\u00a0 Track them down, or wait for the mood to change, for your feelings to evaporate?<\/p>\n
could get everything P2P instantly.<\/p>\n
it’s supposed to be.<\/p>\n
that before.<\/p>\n
whole damn thing.\u00c2\u00a0 But I know the feeling, the experience, of hearing one song
and needing to hear them all.\u00c2\u00a0 Putting the record on the turntable and spending
all afternoon flipping it over and over, as the songs penetrate.<\/p>\n