I’d be watching on broadband, it’s just that MTV’s site\/broadcast IS NOT
Mac-compatible.\u00c2\u00a0 Time was Mac users were second-class citizens, but the Cupertino
company is now held in more esteem than this lame cable channel and its
adherents feel that anybody who doesn’t play to them just doesn’t get it, is left
behind instead of living in the present.<\/p>\n
It’s not about video music awards, it’s about technology.\u00c2\u00a0 iChatAV is hipper
than this lame, piece-of-shit show.\u00c2\u00a0 THAT’S a connection, communicating with
another human being, not viewing celebrity wankers making an appearance to add
to the pile of cash they’re accumulating in their ever-more-brief careers.<\/p>\n
I find it more exciting to follow the moves of Apple, Google and Microsoft
than any of the acts on this show.<\/p>\n
I was going to go hiking, but tuning in this train-wreck had me riveted.\u00c2\u00a0
It’s like watching a futuristic vision, but even the Jetsons couldn’t come up
with something so lame.<\/p>\n
I started with the end of the pre-game.\u00c2\u00a0 Kurt Loder and SuChin Pak fawning o
ver the biggest concert ever.\u00c2\u00a0 Ever hear of Live 8?\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, MTV made like that
didn’t exist.<\/p>\n
Then the show began.<\/p>\n
1. Green Day<\/p>\n
The sad thing is this above average band is the best thing we’ve got, our
only white\/rock hope.\u00c2\u00a0 Where did everybody else’s balls go?\u00c2\u00a0 Personally, I find
Billie Joe so cute I want to cuddle him, and last time I checked I was straight.<\/p>\n
They played their song well, but what was with the fire?\u00c2\u00a0 Like we’ve never
seen this before?<\/p>\n
Then again, I liked the outfits.<\/p>\n
2. Diddy<\/p>\n
Let’s just call him Puffy.\u00c2\u00a0 Ever been to school?\u00c2\u00a0 Try to change your name and
you’re laughed off the playground.\u00c2\u00a0 Why does Sean Combs get a free pass?\u00c2\u00a0 Why
doesn’t the press call him on the constant name changes?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not like
Muhammad Ali, there’s no religious element involved.\u00c2\u00a0 Rather, every time he changes
his name he gets more press.\u00c2\u00a0 He hasn’t done anything artistically valid
since Biggie died yet he hosts this show.\u00c2\u00a0 I just don’t get it.<\/p>\n
And "rapping" to "Relax"?\u00c2\u00a0 I guarantee that twenty year old Frankie Goes To
Hollywood track has more excitement and more validity than anything included on
this show.\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, even Green Day.\u00c2\u00a0 "Relax" was a better record than "Boulevard
Of Broken Dreams".<\/p>\n
And what’s up with the toothpick?\u00c2\u00a0 My parents used to tell me that was LOW
CLASS!<\/p>\n
Then again, I guess I know nothing about fashion.\u00c2\u00a0 Which Diddy is going on
and on about.\u00c2\u00a0 Giving away his watch of a brand that I can’t imagine ANYBODY in
the audience being aware of.\u00c2\u00a0 Unless it’s the embalmed celebrity attendees.\u00c2\u00a0
God, does Gwen Stefani look like she’d prefer to be ANYWHERE else?<\/p>\n
And giving away $100,000 to the best-dressed.\u00c2\u00a0 God, has MTV devolved to the
level of radio, stunting with CASH to keep people tuned in?\u00c2\u00a0 And is this what
happens when the music is lame, you’ve got to focus on CASH to keep people
focused?<\/p>\n
3. The lineup<\/p>\n
If somebody was hip at MTV, they’d get a heritage act to appear on this show.
\u00c2\u00a0Preferably Pink Floyd, who you know wouldn’t do it.\u00c2\u00a0 Then again, the show’s
not over yet, can Mick get by in a tour year without appearing?<\/p>\n
If only there were a real band.\u00c2\u00a0 Led Zeppelin remnants.\u00c2\u00a0 Even the Allman
Brothers.\u00c2\u00a0 SOMEBODY who made it on music, not looks, who could come on and BLOW EVERYBODY AWAY??\u00c2\u00a0 With no stage set, no flash, just their TUNES?<\/p>\n
There’s a strange mix of urban and TV\/movie stars.\u00c2\u00a0 Please, please, please,
change the name of the channel to CTV, for Celebrity TV!<\/p>\n
Urban culture moves very fast, maybe that’s why all music is now evanescent.\u00c2\u00a0
The black acts of the past…it was about the tracks not the act or the live
show.\u00c2\u00a0 Now, it’s an urban world.<\/p>\n
I don’t want to be racist, but where are the white acts\/rock music?<\/p>\n
Oh, that’s right.\u00c2\u00a0 They’ve been manipulated by the corporations.\u00c2\u00a0 Whereas the
black performers manipulate the corporations themselves, they’ve got the fat
cats worried they’ll whip out a gun or something…<\/p>\n
4. Kanye West<\/p>\n
I know hip-hop is based on braggadocio, but this is just too offensive.\u00c2\u00a0 This
guy really believes his shit doesn’t stink.\u00c2\u00a0 NOBODY’S that big, NOBODY’S that
good.<\/p>\n
5. The Audience<\/p>\n
Not different from one on a game show.\u00c2\u00a0 Thrusting their arms in the air
before anything happens.\u00c2\u00a0 A groupie isn’t even this excited to have sex with a
star.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s today, everything’s phony.<\/p>\n
6. Beavis & Butt-head<\/p>\n
Not only is today’s music lame, today’s MTV is.\u00c2\u00a0 They brought these guys out
of mothballs.\u00c2\u00a0 But, stunningly, it appears they deserved to be banished,
because they’re no longer funny.<\/p>\n
7. Hammer<\/p>\n
Wasn’t it right around the time of his big success that things took a turn
for the worse?\u00c2\u00a0 Wasn’t he the guy who had the biggest record of the year and
then STIFFED, illustrating the paradigm for the business to follow?<\/p>\n
8. The Simpson Girls<\/p>\n
Could Ashlee have LESS charisma?<\/p>\n
9. Star village<\/p>\n
Managers of yore restricted personal appearances, for fear of blowing the
mystery\/charisma.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not only Gwen, everybody here seems to want to be
somewhere else.<\/p>\n
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