In the cab on the way to the airport I realized how ugly L.A. is.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s like sixties mall culture gone haywire.\u00c2\u00a0 Endless mini-malls with signage insuring you just can’t miss the unnecessary product the proprietors are purveying.<\/p>\n
Then again, the landscape had nothing on the people at LAX.\u00c2\u00a0 Remember when your dad used to dress up for the flight?\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, YOU didn’t have to wear a tie, but you didn’t wear sneakers, or jeans.\u00c2\u00a0 Now people wear flip-flops.\u00c2\u00a0 If you’re lucky they’ve taken a shower.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that you can blame them, the airlines have turned into Greyhound.\u00c2\u00a0 Northwest not only doesn’t serve nuts or pretzels, there are no pillows or blankets, which is a REAL crisis when it’s COLD!<\/p>\n
I’ve never been on such a cold flight.\u00c2\u00a0 I couldn’t sleep even though I was only riding on three and a half hours of sleep.\u00c2\u00a0 God, when I broke out my cell phone after the flight it had CONDENSATION on the screen, as if it were the window in a ski area base lodge.\u00c2\u00a0 MEANWHILE, I had a big cell phone crisis.\u00c2\u00a0 Trying to retrieve a message as I got on the flight, I held down the pound key too long and I locked it.\u00c2\u00a0 Thank god I packed the manual, but what was I gonna do on the PLANE??\u00c2\u00a0 When they said to turn off all electronic devices, including CELL PHONES!<\/p>\n
Actually, last May I flew with my cell phone on.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m here to tell you the story.\u00c2\u00a0 But, I was unaware that time.\u00c2\u00a0 Today…did I want it to be the last day of my life?\u00c2\u00a0 Was Northwest 306 gonna crash because I’d left my cell phone on?\u00c2\u00a0 Was I supposed to leave it at LAX?\u00c2\u00a0 But how can you function away from home without a phone?\u00c2\u00a0 Then, after madly punching in codes to no avail, I had a brainstorm.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ll just remove the BATTERY!\u00c2\u00a0 Then, feeling really lucky, I reinserted it.\u00c2\u00a0 But no dice, the damn phone REMEMBERED that it was locked.<\/p>\n
Descending into Minneapolis was a trip.\u00c2\u00a0 Because they had those CLOUDS!\u00c2\u00a0 You know, the kind you used to stare at whilst lying on your back growing up.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, if you grew up anywhere other than L.A.\u00c2\u00a0 We don’t get clouds in L.A.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe an occasional wisp that looks like a jet trail, but no Michelangelo puffs.\u00c2\u00a0 But these were like giant cotton balls.\u00c2\u00a0 I wanted to reach out and touch them.<\/p>\n
Upon landing I found out that the code, unless you change it, is the last four digits of your cell phone number.\u00c2\u00a0 So, if you’ve got an LG…\u00c2\u00a0 As for Motorola, Samsung and Nokia users…you’re on your OWN!<\/p>\n
And then to the hotel to pick up passes for my sister and brother-in-law.\u00c2\u00a0 I had mine.<\/p>\n
What is it about laminates?\u00c2\u00a0 If your heart doesn’t start to palpitate when you hold a laminate, you’re not in this business, you don’t belong.<\/p>\n
I’m not talking about backstage passes, not the sticky-woven things that someone magic-markers with the date of the gig that allow you to be herded backstage after the show to eat some hors d’oeuvres and hang with other losers, I’m talking about real INSIDE passes.\u00c2\u00a0 Ones not only good for THIS gig, but ANY gig.\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, you could show up WEEKS from now, unannounced, just flash this plastic-encased card and you waltz right in like you own the place.<\/p>\n
And that’s what an all access pass will give you.\u00c2\u00a0 You start walking towards the stage, you’re ON the stage, and now the road dogs are after you.\u00c2\u00a0 And, when they’re just about on top of you, maybe five feet away, you flash your laminate and they back off.\u00c2\u00a0 You can go everywhere nobody else can.\u00c2\u00a0 Hang out at the sound board.\u00c2\u00a0 Watch from just inches away, in the wings.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not only the access, but feeling like you belong.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what we all want, to belong.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what we’ve worked so hard for, to BELONG!<\/p>\n
Contrary to Tony’s missive, the laminates were not at the hotel desk.<\/p>\n
And then I had to explain.\u00c2\u00a0 I was with the band.<\/p>\n
WHAT BAND?<\/p>\n
That’s what the clerk said.\u00c2\u00a0 It was Rock and Roll 101.\u00c2\u00a0 They figured I was some kind of groupie, gonna chase down the act.<\/p>\n
After a\u00c2\u00a0 stalemate, I logged online at the business center, retrieved the name of my contact, the tour accountant, went back to the desk and it was like I was a member of a secret club.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, we’ll dial Mr. Litten up RIGHT AWAY!<\/p>\n
And when Mark came down with those laminates, on the lanyards, for my sister and brother-in-law, when he put them in the palm of my hand, I got that shot of adrenaline.\u00c2\u00a0 This was not regular business.\u00c2\u00a0 Besuited men in from New York to drink cocktails and chat up disinterested women in the bar.\u00c2\u00a0 No, this was the real deal, the club everybody wants to belong to, I was a member of the rock and roll circus.<\/p>\n
But the gig’s tomorrow night.<\/p>\n
So, tonight, after dinner, we went out for dessert.\u00c2\u00a0 To Liberty Frozen Custard.<\/p>\n
They converted an old gas station.\u00c2\u00a0 The place was overrun.\u00c2\u00a0 With ALL generations.\u00c2\u00a0 A girls’ soccer team gossiping about early teenage life.\u00c2\u00a0 Bikers.\u00c2\u00a0 Suburbanites.\u00c2\u00a0 Made me think these people in the midwest knew something I didn’t.\u00c2\u00a0 That it was about quality of life.<\/p>\n
Oh, the custard was phenomenal.\u00c2\u00a0 They made the waffle cone on the spot and then dipped it in chocolate.\u00c2\u00a0 But it was the TRAPPINGS that blew my mind.\u00c2\u00a0 The advertisements from the FIFTIES in the bathroom (that didn’t require a key to enter!)\u00c2\u00a0 The pinball machine.\u00c2\u00a0 A Gottlieb from before digital readouts, that I had to throw a quarter in.\u00c2\u00a0 And then there was the stack of vintage magazines.\u00c2\u00a0 An old "Look" with a headline about Senator Jack Kennedy, how he might be a good candidate for President.\u00c2\u00a0 And, there were pictures of the new compacts.\u00c2\u00a0 The Falcon, the CORVAIR!\u00c2\u00a0 And a multi-page ad from Chrysler explaining in DETAIL why their cars were better than anybody else’s.<\/p>\n
I wasn’t planning on writing.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ve got to catch up on my sleep.\u00c2\u00a0 But I had a tune in my head.<\/p>\n
It’s on my desktop Mac.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s on my iPod.\u00c2\u00a0 But my headphones are plugged into my PowerBook.<\/p>\n
So I fired up my favorite P2P app, and took it.<\/p>\n
Heaven is a girl that I’ve got to have I don’t know if Def Leppard will play "Heaven Is" tomorrow at the ballpark.<\/p>\n All I know is sitting here listening to the track inspires me.\u00c2\u00a0 Makes me glad, PROUD that I’m a believer.<\/p>\n
She makes me feel good when I feel like hell<\/em><\/p>\n\n