Donald Trump is a terrible businessman.\u00c2\u00a0 Just check his track record in Atlantic City for evidence.\u00c2\u00a0 But in this crazy, fucked-up media world where egomaniacs on private jets believe everybody not them is a moron, he’s sold as a hero, an icon, a devilishly smart, handsome adonis with business acumen no mortal man possesses.<\/p>\n
And, if you win the job of his apprentice, you go around America opening shopping malls, extolling the greatness of…Mr. Trump.<\/p>\n
Oh, wait a second, I thought you were supposed to work, get a leg up!\u00c2\u00a0 It’s supposed to be your first step into moguldom.<\/p>\n
Yeah right, did you just fall off the turnip truck?<\/p>\n
Lyor Cohen’s gonna give some punk, some idiot, his own label?<\/p>\n
Last time I checked Warner Music wasn’t handing out labels to SUCCESSFUL people.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, they even closed down David Foster’s 143 Records.\u00c2\u00a0 And, maybe that was the old regime, but the new regime seems more intent on firing people and cutting back than establishing OPPORTUNITIES!<\/p>\n
When I started buying Warner Records, I learned who Mo Ostin was by side references in interviews.\u00c2\u00a0 He did no publicity, he wasn’t a star, he was an ACCOUNTANT!\u00c2\u00a0 The day Lyor Cohen makes his own rap record is the day he deserves all the press.\u00c2\u00a0 Even Doug Morris, Mr. Cohen’s old boss, has retreated from the limelight.\u00c2\u00a0 Even JIMMY IOVINE, after taking the stage in Las Vegas alongside the doomed Carly Fiorina and lambasting the family values of downloaders after purveying such wholesome fare as "I Smell Pussy", now rarely goes on record.\u00c2\u00a0 And, when he does, it’s not to burnish his image.\u00c2\u00a0 His albums’ SUCCESS speaks for\/cements his image.<\/p>\n
Lyor’s been nice to me, but if I remove all passion and just look at the numbers, when he left Island Def Jam the company was not a raging financial success.\u00c2\u00a0 And now that he’s been empowered at Warner, rather than hits, one sees shit.\u00c2\u00a0 If he truly believes running this reality show will benefit Warner’s bottom line, than maybe I’m barking up the wrong tree.\u00c2\u00a0 But isn’t that like Steve Jobs believing nobody at Apple Computer knows how to come up with the next great product so he’d better hire some high school graduate from the street, not even one with tech credibility?<\/p>\n
Watch the video.\u00c2\u00a0 The one that says "Meet Lyor Cohen".\u00c2\u00a0 (Although you might have a hard time watching it if you’re on a Mac.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, you can hear it, but the picture freezes.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re using QuickTime, which works just fine for Apple streaming every studio’s movie trailers, why can’t AOL stream this itty-bitty video?\u00c2\u00a0 AOL has given no respect to Mac users for a decade.\u00c2\u00a0 AOL for OS X is the worst software I have EVER encountered in the OS X world.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s slow.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s buggy.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s essentially unusable.\u00c2\u00a0 THIS is the way to run a business?\u00c2\u00a0 One that competes in a world where even John C. Dvorak has said OS X is better than XP and it might ultimately triumph? http:\/\/www.pcmag.com\/article2\/0,1895,1840479,00.asp<\/a>)\u00c2\u00a0 Couldn’t Mr. Cohen get anybody not on the payroll\/who shares no personal history to say how great he is?\u00c2\u00a0 I mean isn’t this equivalent to trotting out your mother to say you’re a great guy?\u00c2\u00a0 Kevin Liles?\u00c2\u00a0 Guy Oseary?\u00c2\u00a0 (And why not fire Guy, what has HE done for Warner lately?)<\/p>\n Then there’s the part where Lyor testifies.\u00c2\u00a0 About the haters.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, obviously he knows of which he speaks, for he couldn’t get one competitor, certainly not Steve Gottlieb, to testify in his promotional video how Mr. Cohen is a man of love.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, I’ll give Lyor credit. He sells it.\u00c2\u00a0 Saying that since nine out of ten albums fail it’s easy to say everything sucks.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s looking for someone to say everything’s great, or at least the one album that sells enough to cover up all the turkeys.\u00c2\u00a0 But, there’s no investigation of the premise.\u00c2\u00a0 Why IS IT that ninety percent of albums fail?\u00c2\u00a0 Was it like this for David Geffen?\u00c2\u00a0 Master P?\u00c2\u00a0 Even Death Row?\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe the premise is FALLACIOUS!<\/p>\n And also fallacious is the whole premise of Get Into The Biz.<\/p>\n The problem isn’t that there’s an underground of potential Doug Morrises who have no opportunity, who would blossom if they only competed in the Biz.\u00c2\u00a0 This is like saying the best talent in America appears on "American Idol" and "Rock Star: INXS".\u00c2\u00a0 But those shows are filled with second-rate wannabes.\u00c2\u00a0 Anybody with real talent will have nothing to do with them.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re opposite everything they stand for.\u00c2\u00a0 And it’s the same deal with this show.\u00c2\u00a0 There are PLENTY of opportunities for real businessmen who want to crack the music sphere.\u00c2\u00a0 And, these people are working right now.\u00c2\u00a0 Promoting their wares all over the Internet in a way that Warner thinks is illegal.\u00c2\u00a0 Who in their right mind, someone with talent, would want to play this game when he can just put up a Website, hype on MySpace, get a gig at a local bar and try to make it himself, taking ALL the money.\u00c2\u00a0 Doesn’t one of the videos on this page say it’s about not working for somebody else?\u00c2\u00a0 Why would the next Lyor Cohen want to work for Lyor Cohen?\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, HE started off as an entrepreneur, that’s how he made HIS first tens of millions.<\/p>\n There’s no upside here.\u00c2\u00a0 AOL continues to project its image as an uncool outlet that is not in touch with the inhabitants of cyberspace.\u00c2\u00a0 Warner does not find the next exec who delivers the next Metallica.\u00c2\u00a0 And to all the haters of major labels, the ones who revile the lawsuits, the copy protection, the lame music, the payola, this show is just going to further their perception that the business is run by egotistical jerks who think their shit doesn’t stink.<\/p>\n\n