Great radio keeps you tuned in after you’ve reached your destination.
Last night I could not turn Howard Stern off, even though it was 1:30 AM and I’d been up since 7 and I was where I wanted to be.
Now I’m a bit pissed at Howard. Because he went soft on Gaga. I know, I know, if we were on the phone he’d tell me he had no choice, this is what you’ve got to do to get A-listers, be nice, not be yourself.
But Howard is himself with the B-listers, the downtrodden, the freaks, his metier, and what is revealed is an often fascinating look at the human condition, but yesterday’s interview with Crystal Harris, the fiancee of Hugh Hefner who abandoned him, was positively stupefying.
Equally stupefying is today’s coverage of the interview. All the press focuses on the length of Hef’s performance, even though the video posted online belies the notion that he truly lasted only two seconds, Crystal was joking.
But she was not joking about being under house arrest. Which made none of today’s tabloid stories. That the Playboy Mansion is a glorified cult, run with an iron fist by Hef himself, his dictates enforced by a team of security guards.
You see Crystal Harris had to escape. During a film. Via a ruse, stating that she needed to go out and run an errand.
There’s a fiction, reinforced by the mainstream media, that the rich and famous live a better life than you and me. That they’re happier, have better sex, have somehow transcended the human fallacies that trip the rest of us up.
But Hef is insecure and controlling and 85. The media doesn’t question the Playboy founder, it just goes along with the story. A whitewashed version of the truth.
Yes, Hef has these girlfriends, but it’s for show. He doesn’t sleep with them, but he tells them how to live their lives, and pays them handsomely for the privilege.
It’s one step away from prostitution. Yet this guy is glorified as opposed to excoriated.
We hear all about these girls sold into slavery in the rest of the world, but when it happens in Holmby Hills, Hef gets a pass because he’s rich and famous. Huh?
I know, I know, bankers and politicians are screwing up this country much more than Hugh Hefner. And that Roger Clemens is not the problem with America. But can we stop with the glorification of the lifestyles of these people, stop selling the fiction that if you’re rich and famous your problems are solved? Can we stop making everybody feel so inadequate?
Crystal Harris may be attractive, but if I had to listen to her every night I’d slit my wrists. A brain surgeon she is not. But if you’re a great conversationalist and not beautiful everybody thinks you’re a lesbian and you’ve got a hard time getting ahead.
I could make a list of the idiots I’ve encountered backstage who can barely hold up their end of a conversation. They may be able to sing, but their handlers come up with the songs and their lives are an endless parade of drinks, drugs and cartoons.
And what does Crystal Harris do now? Without an education. Most people are famous for minutes. What does Snooki do when she’s thirty five? How about Ke$ha?
Our values are completely screwed up. And no one’s speaking the truth. Because they’re complicit in the sham. They employ Hef and Snooki to sell advertising. These "news" outlets are as irresponsible as our government. They’re not looking for truth, not even listening to Howard Stern’s broadcast before they put fingers to keyboard. They’re just selling.
I’m not saying I’m against sex, or beauty, or money.
But I am against that which restricts free will, false imprisonment whether it’s done by the military or Hugh Hefner.
You see Howard Stern is an outsider. Loathed by the mainstream.
And he’s in pursuit of one thing only, the truth.
He’s not Piers Morgan, obfuscating and kissing butt to save his job.
Nor is he Anderson Cooper, playing the role of serious journalist while in pursuit of ratings at all costs.
To live outside the law, you must be honest. And that’s what Howard is.
This Crystal Harris interview needs to be heard. If so, there’d be outrage. The Playboy empire would crumble, the Mansion would be closed.
Instead, the mainstream props it up, it’s a good story, it sells newspapers and TV shows, it generates clicks.
And you wonder what’s wrong with America…