Comments on: Ribfest

By: Karen Gordon

Karen Gordon — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 17:50:09 +0000

Bob.. I sent your column to my cousin the caterer/chef and she sent back this
email.. It does seem like Sour Cream is one quick way of trying to put out
the fire..and its certainly avail at rib fests... Or should be I guess. Although
it does remind me of a joke I heard years ago when I was a kid about three
old Jewish men..and the punch line went : It looked so good, I ate it myself.

Here's my cousin's response.

we related so closely with this poor soul - we had been on a pepper jelly
making binge - and of course are way too cool to wear gloves (not any more!!), so
away we go prepping potfuls of peppers and like a couple of good kids, clean
up the mess, followed by a shower. Mr. P goes in first and "bubbles up" and I
hear this wail from the WC as the effect of his cleaning operation kicks in.
I thought he had fallen or perhaps slit his throat??? I rush in and there he
is pointing at willy winkie and doing the dance of fire. I rushed back into
the kitchen and returned with a TUB of sour cream - any dairy will do, and
slathered his buddy to quell the heat. Seemed like a good opening for a porno
flick - n c'est pas???
Moral of the story - WEAR GLOVES!!
Sure glad we're not the only idiots on the planet!!

By: Chris Apostle

Chris Apostle — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 17:49:53 +0000

Interesting to read this. May I offer a response. Having spent 24 years as a
roadie. sound engineer. Keyboard player in 8O's hair band that scored 3 top 4O
singles, I moved on to coordinate records for the biggest stars around. I am
one of the few NARAS members who may actuallu qualify to vote for the Grammys.
Bob,you are very insightful and seem to be quite passionate about music but
you are not that inside the touring and working musician side of the biz. Have
you looked at the musicians in bryan adams band? On the inside these are the
best players around. They have endured and survived computer records and they
still make a living doing the one thing they do better than 99 per cent of the
young diva so called musicians. Have you ever seen a destinys child show?
These so called musicians would get eaten alive by any player in most bands at Rib
Fests. Bob, I played a ton of these gigs as a keyboard player with flo and
eddie. These week long or weekend middle america parties are our bread and
butter. First and foremost the crowds are great the production is usually very good
and a bunch of good old fashioned sound and light systems get to be used and
people make money the old fashioned way. What is wrong with that. The greatest
live festival is the milwaukee summerfest which is done for this year and I
am surprised you didn't talk about it. On the inside every band agent and
manager know it is a mandatory stop for their artists. Ask any of our expert urban
teenager A@R experts if they know what the mil sfest is? If you ever played
there and I have about a dozen times each stage is sponsored by a beer company
with giant inflatable beer cans on stage right and stage left of each stage.
Nevermind you can see maynard ferguson on a jazz stage. Joan jett on a rock
stage. The guess who on a classic rock stage and dwight yoakum on a country
stage. All playing the same time and for 1 price. Of course if you want to see
stevie wonder in the evening at the bradley center it costs you additional but it
is what it is. Point is. What is wrong with deep purple touring or rick
springfield and nugent playing a ribfest. Shit instead of chicagofests like the old
days each community in the area has its own fest. The naperville fling. The
oakdale summerfest. These gigs are work for people in our field. I just made a
record that is high on the charts and we used maybe 3 real players and of
course pro tools and the famous pitching vocal devices. I ll bet rick ted bryan and
such didn't have too many sequencers on stage. Watch the foo fighters live
bit on mtv. Notice some of the guitars out of tunes and how daves voice or growl
gets tired the 2nd half of the show. What a concept. Live music. You seem
very knowledgeable about music. At least you often mention records I know very
few remember. Mott. Etc
I feel you should make sure to know that ribfests and such are the last
bastion of gigs available for working musicians. I d rather watch a live gig in a
minor league stadium or ozark mountain amphitheater or tulsa than watch a lip
synd destinys child in msg anyday. An oh yes. Who gives a shit if U2 or the
stones have their music on ads or silly tv shows. Better than ashlee ashanti or
the other unmentionable young divas. Keep writing. Thanks. Chris

By: Steve Lukather

Steve Lukather — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 17:49:25 +0000

Ouch. hahahahha
Hey, Bob, I can dig your rave BUT.. what are Older muso's supposed to do?
Stop playing? I mean just cause you are not a "super-star act" doesnt mean you
give up music. Its a a deep love and a calling. Its NOT just about money and
hype. My idea of heaven is playin a cool club full of peoiple that dig what I am
doing THAT night. NOT "go out and play your hits" There are those of us than
enjoy the $ to pay the bills and live a nice life but *I* still get up and
practice my guitar and still love playing it after playing for 41 years. Dont
equate rock star shit to being a REAL musician that still strive to get better. Of
yeah, its NOT hip to be really good and have great technique but very few
people actually PUT THE TIME IN TO BE LIKE THAT! And WE are the ones that get
raked thru the coals by the so called " Rock press" which are basically failed
musicians that HATE anyone that has attempted to master the instument.
Any ass fuck can be a "rock star". It takes decades and then some to be a
journey man musician. I mean what are half these asswipe "rock stars" gonna do
when there 2nd or 3rd record fails? They aint good enough to be a REAL musician
?? They will spend all there money right away like the idiots that win the
lottery. You can blow thru a million bucks in 3 weeks if you try. hahaha Its like
Austin Powers Dr. Evil. "One MILLION dollars" haha
Dont fuck all us old guys off for trying to make a living? So we aint "hip" I
am not U2, never was never will be but I AM a proffessinal musician and proud
of it. It beats working at MCdonalds , which is about all I could do if it
wans t for music. haha
So, play a state fair, have a laugh. At 47 years old I LOVE to play music. It
is not a crime and its not really selling out. I mean what will the "Flavor
of the month' Bands be doing in 30 years? I am still working and havin a blast
and I have taken nothing but shit from the press for almost 30 years. If they
had any real power I would have been over in 1978. I am not bitter or pissed o
ff at all. The great thing about getting older is that I could give a fuck
what my media enemies think of me. I know where the bodies are buried with most
these fucks anyway. hahahaha They are, for the most part, all wankers and
posers anyway. I mean, If you cant play as good as me or any other REAL muso than
fuck off. Its my life NOT a job!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dig your raves Bob , and I agree most of the time BUT , dont be so harsh
with us older cats just makin a living and havin a laugh. I have GREAT life and
still look forward to whats ahead.
Beats workin for a livin
Luke

By: Bob Welch

Bob Welch — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 17:49:05 +0000

Bob ...Enjoyed your missives on backstage w/Brian Adams and Def
Lepard....Also the hilarious "dick story" with the "hot-sauce hand"...I had something
equivalent happen to me once , only with Santa Fe Mexican food , and it happened
to my asshole.. not my dick.

But I MUST , truly , take exception to your brutal use of the phrase "has
-been-musicians" when referring ro Rick Springfield and Ted Nugent , who play
"soft ticket" gigs at fairs , when contrasted with your endless rhapsodizing over
acts like Def Lepard and Brian Adams. Bob , Def Lepard and Brian Adams (AND
Fleetwood Mac) are has-beens too....only diff between them and Springfield/
Nugent is that they are 1st tier has-beens. But then , in their day , they were
1st tier acts , whereas Springfield et al were always 2nd tier...even in the
days when they COULD headline a hard-ticket show.

Being a second or 3rd tier has been myself ,the phrase rankles , kind of
like "dinosaur rock" did in the eighties when Capitol records promotion was hypi
ng their "new" punk thing ( "The Knack") with the PD of XYZ radio in the
backroom while I was in the studio on air trying my best to promote my "dinosaur
rock" hit.

Bob , you've been around...maybe you made more money once than you now do ,
or have been more in demand than you now are....I wouldn't know. Should I
therefore say you are a has been music biz guy....but Jimmy Iovine isn't because
he's still climbing higher ? Is victory and honor truly only to THE most
successful ? Is being #1 kick-ass really what means the most ?..

I certainly wouldn't assume this having read some of your previous
columns...Indeed , sometimes you almost come off like a "sensitive soul" God forbid ;-)

All I do know is..Springfield's gotta' eat , Nugent's gotta' eat (even though
I abhor his politics) ,....and I gotta' eat too.

So would 'ya lay off the high school ranking stuff..........

Nursing bruised feelings , I am ,

Yours sincecely , and with all best wishes ,

Bob Welch