Gray Day

We don’t get them too often in Southern California. And never during the summer.

I didn’t move to Los Angeles for the weather, but it’s a nice extra. It’s great to make plans and not have to worry if it’s going to rain. But today it did, rain that is. Just a few sprinkles. But in the decades I’ve lived here this has only happened twice before, a couple of years back and last Saturday, when Dark Sky said it was going to rain in 11 minutes.

It’s kind of like earthquakes in Oklahoma. They’re not supposed to happen. And we can argue whether today’s monsoon-like atmosphere in SoCal is induced by man, all I know is my mood has been completely different. I’ve got this great urge to go to the lake.

Oh, we have lakes in SoCal, but they’re gigantic and sometimes manmade. But that pond, in the midst of a forest… Those rarely exist.

On the east coast when the weather gets warm you sometimes go to the beach, I spent a lot of time in the sand by Long Island Sound. But sometimes you’d go inland to the lake. With its murky water sans salt. Go far enough north and the water gets clean, crystal clear in fact, but it doesn’t warm up until late in the season, when you’re already thinking about school, and now school starts in the middle of August.

But it didn’t back then.

The Beach Boys said that summer means new fun. And that’s what I liked about growing up. Every summer there was something different. I went to camp. I got older and took a canoe trip down the Allagash in Maine. I went to Philmont Scout Ranch. And then I got older, into college, and summer was for work. And I need a break, that’s what today’s weather has taught me, it has set my mind free, to a-wandering, thinking about mood and experiences from the past.

Ever drive around a New Hampshire lake on a day that threatens rain? When it could pour and you’d end up going to the movies or reading a book or playing board games? It could just as easily get sunny, and then you’d dive in and swim out to the raft. Or not.

That’s one thing I miss about the east coast, the interior. And the proximity. The interior mind…wherein it’s about personal development, burnishing your ability to express yourself, to have thoughts, to know that life is chiaroscuro and those who win all the time are lying, or missing out. And everything’s just a few hours away in New England. Whereas once you’ve been to Santa Barbara and San Diego you’ve exhausted exploration in SoCal. Oh, there’s Big Bear too, but the truth is the rest of the destinations are hours away.

And they’re all kind of the same. Broad desert landscapes. Whereas the east is about nooks and crannies, a different vista around every corner.

Then again, easterners feel they’re superior. They’ve had it harder. They know better. Whereas the west is the land of personal development, where you’re free to become who you want to be. And I like being the master of my own domain, not having to recite my SAT scores and alma mater on a regular basis. And then there are days like today, when I’ve just got the urge to drive inland, buy some chips, read the newspaper, be out of cell range, dig deep into an activity and feel both part of a continuum and not. Knowing that life is about feeling, and feeling so much.

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