Guitar Hero Aerosmith
This is so much harder than Rock Band…you’ve got no idea.
Rock Band is for weenies, you can set it up on easy and cruise along. Whereas the entrance fee to Guitar Hero is…ATTENTION, DEDICATION, PERSEVERANCE!
I usually read the instruction booklet, I want a fighting chance. But so excited about playing, I breezed right through. I figured I could play Rock Band, what could be so different?
And it’s not that different…
I’d say the graphics are better on Rock Band. And the tutorials are much hipper. The Guitar Hero instructor has got this ghoulish Halloween voice. Whereas the Rock Band instructor is the hipster on the corner who wants to be your best friend, so you’ll buy a nickel bag.
Not that the game is so much different.
But at least on Rock Band you start out only having to hit TWO buttons! On the easiest Guitar Hero level, you’ve got to play with green, red and yellow, and that’s COMPLICATED!
I blamed it on the machine. Hell, the game gave me that option. It said if I found it hard, I could CALIBRATE the game to the TV… That didn’t help, not at all, it only made it worse. Finally, after calibrating falsely, ad infinitum, I went back to the original settings. Which were perfect. But still hard as hell.
I started off with the Kinks’ "All Day And All Of The Night". I failed.
I felt awful. Then again, Rush couldn’t even play their own song!
So I switched to "All The Young Dudes", which is a cover, but much more faithful than the ones on Rock Band. I could play this, I felt good about myself…until I started playing Joan Jett’s "I Hate Myself For Loving You". I hate myself for sucking at Guitar Hero. You can slow the song down to practice, but that makes it EVEN HARDER!
Finally, after failing at "Uncle Salty" but finally nailing that Joan Jett song (well, not nailing, just not failing), I fired up the game… I wanted to open for Aerosmith.
And I’ll tell you, everything’s been written about the songs, how the young ‘uns are getting hooked on classic rock. I’ll tell you about the AUDIENCE! Guitar Hero teaches you what a gig is like, how to act at a gig. Go into the pit at the House of Blues, it’s not much different from this. Palpably exciting.
I played "All The Young Dudes" well enough to earn three stars and 16,848 points at Nipmuc High School, site of Aerosmith’s first gig. But I only made $75, I got docked for the freebies at the bar and destruction of the hotel room. But then I just couldn’t nail "Dream Police". My character, Axel, a big, beefy gent, kept throwing his guitar down and stepping on it. I felt so EMBARRASSED! Finally, fourth time through, I made it all the way. I had a newfound appreciation for Rick Nielsen’s work, I heard the leads in a way I hadn’t before. I was energized!
But then Felice made me turn the TV off so she could get a massage. I guess raucous rock doesn’t go with Indian treatment. But I can see how dads end up playing all night. You want to get OVER THE HUMP!
As for Aerosmith… Tyler looks like Tyler. His toxic twin Joe’s avatar was a bit off. But what I didn’t expect was the videos. Really, you’ve got to play these games in HD. They come alive in a way that even real concerts on television don’t!
And, I was excited to play Max’s Kansas City. But wasn’t that Steve Leber in the front row? Or his hairline with David Krebs’ face?
Those are the two that broke Aerosmith. They left the Morris office behind because they heard this music. It didn’t break wide at first, but they were right. I bought the first album upon hearing "Dream On", but I was riveted by the second, with my all time favorite "Lord Of The Thighs".
I’m not sure if that’s on this game. Maybe you can buy it. It seems easier to buy tracks and play on the Net on Guitar Hero than Rock Band.
Still, it takes it out of you… Standing in front of the TV, guitar slung around your neck, having to perform. It may not be quite like being on stage, but the ANXIETY IS!
