VMAs-3

The Killers

Not as good as the hype.  Sure, better than a lot of the shit, but you wonder
why music keeps declining in sales?  If THIS is the best we’ve got…  With
all the hype, someone will go out and buy a Killers CD and then swear off
buying music.

And what if you’re not an up-tempo thrasher?  What if you don’t make
in-your-face music?

Then you’re done.  If "Crime Of The Century" came out today nobody would
know.  There are no stations that play music that affects your mind, not your
penis.

L’il Kim

Why ain’t she in jail?

Used to be lawbreakers were the scourge of society, parents used to tell
their kids to act in another way, now the media is the parent and it says breaking
the law is COOL!

Eric Roberts

The new Macy Gray.  Hyping the CD of his STEPSON??  I’d say he should be
banished from MTV for such a faux pas, but the odds of him reappearing are almost
non-existent anyway.

Everybody’s constantly selling today.  Being good and people PULLING what
they want is for pussies.  You’ve got to shove your product down people’s
throats.  It’s oppressive.  Whether it be ads in movie theatres or the
non-self-conscious ravings of not only celebrities, but wannabes on the street.

R. Kelly

Wait a second.  Everybody else in America is guilty until proven innocent,
but R. Kelly gets a pass?  If you’re talented your actions in your personal life
are IRRELEVANT?

I mean there’s a lot of evidence.  About as much as there was with O.J.  But,
TV doesn’t constantly parade the Juice for ratings.

Innocent until proven guilty.  But, if someone is gonna make you money, you
give them the key to the gate and treat them like royalty when they enter the
building.

Meanwhile, last time I checked R. Kelly could actually sing.  What’s up with
the lip-synch?

They say the public doesn’t care.

And people don’t.  That’s how lame they think music and the industry that
supports it are.

Suge

An hour and a half into it, and still no mention of last night’s shenanigans.

God

Only heard him thanked once.  Could it be that he’s been eclipsed by money?

That’s the true religion of these people

Gap Ad

Don’t blame Gap.  Blame the lame acts who agree to appear.

Terrible management for Alanis.  They’ve taken her from being the biggest act
in the business to the mildly-talented person next door.  All of her charisma
has evaporated.

Jason Mraz.  Can I really blame him?  Since his RECORD company evaporated and
no one believes in him anymore?  Shouldn’t it be a rule if your company
disappears you can go to?  Isn’t selling your contract to somebody else kind of
like slavery?  Elektra believed in Jason, made him a heartthrob.  I bet most of
the people who bought his last record don’t even know his new one is out.

Joss Stone.  All she’s got his her celebrity.  That second record was a
disaster.  She’s a celebrity, not a musician.  A spokesmodel.  And, you KNOW there
are black kids who sing better but will never get a chance, never mind not as
good-looking white people.

The nineties are over.  All exposure is not good exposure.  The GAP looks
good here, the acts don’t.  The acts look exactly like they are, they’re shills. 
Doing whatever it takes to remain famous, to stay in the public eye.

Does anybody have any integrity anymore?  Can anybody say no?

God, watching this show you’d think the way to make it is to shoot someone
and then make a endorsement deal with every corporation known to man.

Wait a second, that IS how you make it.

Biggie

Okay, now Puffy’s a conductor?

If Biggie can sing years after he died maybe he can host next year’s show. 
They can do amazing things with special effects these days.

Right now there are MTV execs scratching their chins saying THAT’S a good
idea.  Biggie, Kurt…passing the mic amongst the deceased…EVERYBODY will tune
in for THAT!

Fall Out Boy

If we can do this it means ANYBODY can do this?

They have no idea of the truth of which they speak.

Isn’t this the OPPOSITE of the way we want it to be?  Don’t we want our music
stars to be BETTER than us, more TALENTED?

Didn’t it used to be you had to woodshed, practice, didn’t it used to be that
not everybody could be a star?

Boy are things upside down.

You don’t need to be talented to be a reality TV star, but you do have to
have something special, that you’ve worked on, to make it as a musician.  Oh,
that’s right, they’re stars, not musicians.

Just how the labels like it.  Then they can CONTROL you.  If you actually
have some ability you can thumb your nose at them, you can survive without them. 
But if you’ve got nothing, you lick the butt of your enabler, you do whatever
they say.

Hate to tell you, being famous doesn’t solve all of life’s problems.  Doesn’t
make you happier than everybody else.  Do you really want to brave a
hurricane, almost get shot at a party just to attend the VMAs in Miami and look like a
loser amongst all the other so-called stars?

Reggaeton

Where’s the band?

Give us ONE of these acts, not this lame medley interrupted for over the top
introductions by Fat Joe.

And, Daddy Yankee singing to tape…

This reminds me of Ed Sullivan.  Someone who doesn’t respect the music
showcasing it to look hip, to make money.

This music only works in a club.  Fell flat in an arena.  Did you peek at the
audience?

Missy Elliott

She actually looks hot.

More Puffy

Wait a second, what exactly is his talent?  Other than staying in the public
eye, making himself famous, selling his record company again and again.

This is just like the music business.  You don’t need talent to make it.  I
thought the host had to be FUNNY!

Coldplay

They’re putting the audience to sleep.

Shit, if they knew they were going to have this impact, why didn’t they play
a ballad?  But no, MTV wants the HIT!  But, they could have changed the song
at the last minute, without the suits knowing.  Oh, no, that’s Elvis Costello
on SNL, the guys in Coldplay don’t have those kinds of balls.  They play along.

Meanwhile, can you explain the outfits to me?

Please, please, please, all you people flooding my inbox telling me Coldplay
is godhead, defend this performance.  They look positively goofy, and appear
to have about as much staying power as Haircut 100, A Flock Of Seagulls and the
other British acts of the early eighties.

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